For the first time since having children, my body hasn't bounced back like with the first 4. It's been 3 months since propane was born and I am still 40 pounds more than I should be! I have (EEWWW) cottage cheese thighs and butt. And it hurts to look in the mirror for me.

Wow! Seeing it in print is frightening! I have never been the one who needed a diet, nor watched what I ate. So looking at myself and feeling this way is a new experience for me. I can't stay motivated either. I have no friends who want to work out, walk, or diet. Pics on the fridge don't help. They make me grab cookies to feel better. I tried having only healthy foods in the house when my boyfriend decided to do the grocery shopping. So Mr. Skinny that he is bought chips and a10 pound bag of sugar for me to bake with! I am surrounded by things I want to put in my mouth! 

I was told by a few people that I should be grateful that I am not over 200. Why should I be grateful for that? That doesn't make sense to me. I weigh myself in the morning and I am 165. By the time I go to bed, I am between 169-173! How is it possible to gain That much weight over a 12 hour period???!!!

These 40 pounds extra I carry with me make it hard to run around with my kids! I have a hard time going up the stairs to put the laundry away!

I just wish that the exercise and (in my eyes) starvation would show some results already! Not even 5 pounds has come off and it is just frustrating to me. Not seeing results makes the cookie jar call out to me!